A Welcomed Change

For the past five months, when people ask Dan how he likes his job, Dan usually responds with, "It's good. . ." He has refrained from telling most people in passing that his boss is a Beast with a condescending personality, no social skills, and lacks the ability to mentor.

The Lewis & Roca we were introduced to consisted of family-friendly attorneys who were compassionate and eager to accept and teach new associates. From the moment I met Dan's boss, I could tell what kind of person she was, and I was not a fan. (I accept responsibility for being judgemental, yet I feel somewhat justified.) During this light social at the office, Dan walked me over to her and, seeing that she was speaking with someone already, politely waited a moment for her to acknowledge us. She stopped talking almost mid-sentenced as she looked at us with what appeared contempt for interrupting her conversation.

Dan said, "I just wanted you to meet my wife." Having picked up on her lack of interest in us, I quickly piped in, "Hi, I'm Erica. We just wanted to say hello."

No joke: Ms. Boss silently stared at us for a moment without a smile or even a trace of friendliness. If there were a cartoon bubble streaming from her head, it would have said, "I don't care who the !@#$ you are." But instead, after the uncomfortable, awkward silence, she chose to say, "Hi, I'm            ". With an indifferent hand-shake, we went our separate ways.

If this were simply a case of dealing with a rude personality, Dan would still be OK. However, in the past five months, Dan has suffered growing anxiety as he has dealt with Ms. Boss because she refused to give Dan any direction. She did not teach him. She demanded -- expecting Dan to produce work from areas of the law that he never took any classes on (or at least very little of). He asked clarifying questions and she would curtly respond with demeaning language that he needed to figure it out on his own (and then be even more blatantly angry with him when he wasted hours producing incorrect work). If you've ever seen the movie, "The Devil Wears Prada", she could hold her own against Merryl Streep! On and on I could go . . .

If you can't tell, I have been fuming about this woman because I have watched her kick Dan to the curb day after day, crushing his confidence and his drive to become the amazing attorney that he has potential to be. Anxiety medication could not even tap the surface of the apprehension churning inside Dan on a daily basis. This type of treatment might work for some people, but it absolutely does not work for Dan. I've heard how horses, if they respect their rider, will literally run themselves to death if the rider keeps pushing them onward. Dan is a work-horse who will do whatever it takes to please those he works for. It's in his personality to produce his very best work, and he will do whatever is asked of him. He just needs guidance and instructions.

To shorten this story, Dan finally met a couple of times with the office manager, who is one of the partners of the firm. It was a risky move as a brand new associate to complain about his mentor. However, after fasting and praying, (and the situation having escalated badly enough that Dan was considering leaving the firm by the fall), the results proved better than we could have even hoped for. The office manager was understanding and concerned about how Ms. Boss was not teaching Dan and gave Dan the option to switch into a different practice group. Leaving behind his love of bankruptcy was a hard move for Dan, but he was excited that there just happened to be (right at this moment) an opening in Commercial Litigation (his second choice). Unfortunately, it was at the expense of someone being let go, but this allowed Dan to now work with a new mentor -- and not just any mentor: Had Dan been able to hand-pick one attorney at Lewis & Roca to work with, it would be this office manager, Dan Waite. That's who he was assigned to. This guy is perfect for Dan. He's personable, kind and respectful to everyone, LDS, and now has an understanding of the way Dan operates. Also, Dan still gets to keep a foot in bankruptcy. More than ever do I believe in the power of fasting and prayer!

We heard all this wonderful news on Valentine's Day. I had plans to attempt a fancy home-made dinner so we could just eat at home, but Aiyana was having a rough day. So we changed plans. Instead, I told Dan to pick up a full rack of ribs at Tony Romas. When he came home, I instructed him to shower and get in his most comfortable clothes because we were having the most casual, relaxing Valentine's we could muster!

Like we used to do in our old apartment with Ty, I lugged a spare mattress into the living room so we could watch our rented Red Box on our big ol' tube TV.

After snuggles and feeding Aiyana her less-than-gourmet meal, she went to bed just a little bit early while our evening of comfort continued.

 We ate our delicious, finger-licking meal in bed: Ribs, mashed potatoes, and Wild Rice from Tony Romas; left-over buttery-lemon shrimp and green beans; and home-made strawberry daiquiri's.

The next morning, I heard something I hadn't heard from Dan in months. He was singing -- busting out the song, "We Are Young" by FUN, his new favorite happy song. My heart filled with much relief to see Dan so happy in the morning on his way to work. What a change. What a difference.

Cheers! Here's to a fresh start.