Life with COVID-19

It's been about two weeks since "social distancing" started here in Las Vegas. With the world-wide Corona Virus taking hold across the world and mostly in the east coast of the US, we knew it was coming. It just didn't feel very real until the schools closed down the week of March 16th. This was the same day (I believe) that the church declared a temporary world-wide closure of gatherings--which means no meetings, church, missionary work etc at all. Once the church shut down, that was the most eye-opening for me to realize that this is indeed growing out of control.

That first week of March 16 was full of excitement and uncertainty. The rush to the grocery stores began, creating the crazed pandemic end-of-the-world feeling as food flew off the shelves. We were all worried about not having enough, realizing all the ways that we fell short on food storage preparations despite the years of warnings. So I was unfortunately one of the problematic hoarders buying two-three times my normal amount, although I wouldn't say I was hoarding. I feel like my purchases were reasonable. However, it did feel like a mad rush to fill my pantry. I grabbed cans of soup, chicken broth, rice, chili, spam, canned chicken and tuna, cereals, tons of pasta... every day things my young, picky family eats. I'm not a "grind your own wheat" type of woman, so I've never been on board with storing that. I also grabbed extra milk, egg, lunch meat, bread, flour, sugar...

Going out the store was a long-winded adventure every day after that, the lines making a thirty minute trip take more like two-hours. I remember looking up at everyone differently that day. I didn't have my kids. They haven't been the store in weeks. I've been in the habit before of tunnel-vision shopping, just trying to make it through my list and without whining or fighting kids distracting me. So I haven't been one for small talk on my errands. During one of these first trips out, I looked at people differently. I thanked the employees busily stocking shelves. I lifted my gaze and smiled at my fellow concerned shoppers. I wondered how each of them were doing and if their families had enough. A few times I asked if they were ok. I checked in with the cashiers to see how they were holding up.

Aside from the grocery shopping prep, the virus still didn't feel real locally. It still felt like an "other side of the country" problem because Vegas only had a handful of cases. But closing down the schools made it feel more real, especially when that was closely followed by the Social Distancing order and closure of small businesses. That one really struck a chord because it meant no more activities for the kids. No more soccer dates for Dan and I.

Last week I really dug in my heels with frustrations to all the sudden adjustments. All my freedoms, my schedule and routines, my social and personal outlets were stripped away all at the same time. I was forced into the position of homeschooling my kids, something I would NEVER sign up for. I always anticipated that it would be an impossible feat. The first couple days were pretty frustrating, feeling unqualified to teach multiple children on different levels. Feeling unappreciated by frustrated children who were adjusting to the changes in the air and their schedules too. There were lots of tantrums and name-calling from children to parent, and then eventually tantrums from my new role as Teacher Mommy.

On Thursday, March 19th, I woke up super ill. I had thrown up three times in the night, once every hour for three hours, followed by the worst... and I mean THE WORST diarrhea I've ever experienced. I don't think details are necessary. But let's just say by mid-morning, I was severely dehydrated on multiple levels. I didn't have anymore specific gastrointestinal symptoms after that other than my zero appetite and my stomach aching. But the worst symptom became the dizziness. I could barely stand and move around, and yet I needed to to take care of my kids. We mostly laid on the couch watching TV for the next couple of days because fatigue over-came me to where every movement from room to room took everything out of me, so you can imagine the multiple trips up and down the stairs to feed my kids while we camped out on in the loft upstairs. So much TV! That's all I could do, especially when Aiya joined the sick club Thursday night with vomiting.

We were a sad pair, dizzy and weak on the couch. Dan was the best once he'd step into the home from work. He would completely take over and get the other kids fed and to bed while Aiya and I fell asleep early each night. By Sunday, the dizziness was mostly gone but my stomach still hurt for the next couple of days, like I needed to throw up. Aiya bounced all around with her illness, one day perfectly fine and then the next evening, she passed out at 5:30 PM for the night. It was the worst illness I've ever experienced. I told Dan I wasn't entirely sure it wasn't COVID, even though it didn't have any of the respiratory symptoms. (Just literally everything else you can get from a virus! Including the worst body aches, some chills and feverish nights.) Dan experienced a few days of milder symptoms but somehow pushed through going to work. Poor guy has been exhausted and stressed, trying to to break away from Rushforth Lee and Kiefer. It couldn't be worse time for he and Kenny Lee to start their own thing. But they've been doing it! One day at a time.

What have I missed.... so homeschooling. We picked it back up after my attempts the week prior (Tuesday and Wednesday). This week we've done it for five days! Well... one of those days may have been a pretty poor attempt for less than an hour.... But the other days we've done pretty well. I have this Summer Brain Books that are a decent comprehensive review of the school year to guide me along, plus many online websites from the school and other resources. We keep it pretty simple, and I still feel inadequate as a teacher... but I've stopped worrying about that. It's out of my control, and I know my kids will catch up later. I'm just giving them brain work to keep them moving mentally. We've had fun the last two days working out together with Hiit youtube videos and Cosmic Kids Yoga. The kids have also fallen into a much better groove with playing together--mostly Logan and Aaron. They have totally bonded over transformer toys and this show called Tobots. It's been pretty amazing to see. Enjoying it while it lasts! Aiya, in the meantime, has enjoyed more time with Eliana and me, cooking or swinging or working on piano and singing.

I am missing soccer so bad! That has been the hardest transition for me, leaving three nights of soccer to zero. I miss the fun, the challenge, the social time, the competetiveness, the away from kids time... just feeling like an individual adult, ME, rather than all the roles of wife and mom. I miss it so much and it kills me not knowing when this will end.

But I try to keep my perspective healthy. And remember why the social distancing is necessary--that there are people literally DYING from this virus, and suffering economically far worse than we ever will. I worry about the economy a lot as I look around at the locked doors and closed businesses. How will most of these places come back from all of this? Are we on our way into a depression? How will all of this change... everything? How will it stop?

I don't follow the media too much. I catch glimpses of the stats here and there, but my Tv is rarely on the news channel. I think there's too much fear and unresolved questions floating around for it to do me much good right now. I have a healthy dose of awareness without obsession. It doesn't feel too scary here in Las Vegas yet. We still walk around the neighborhood, or go to isolated parks to run around. We keep our distance... but i'm grateful we are able to still leave our home, and I'll enjoy that freedom as long as we can.

So much to say. But that's the gist of it.