Saturday, May 8, 2010

"Walk of Remembrance"

"The Walk of Remembrance" was held at Thanksgiving Point gardens in honor of the little ones who have passed away. We gathered together at 9:15am, as the names of those babies were read out loud, including Ty Edward Kiefer. Inside, there was a slide show of baby pictures  playing to gentle music. Ty's photo was the last one in the cycle. I was grateful they were able to add his photo, despite the late submission. From the photos, Ty looked like one of the oldest babies to have died. Many of the babies seemed to have died quickly after birth, due to congenital problems. The question has been asked many times, "What is worse? Knowing you will lose your baby almost right away, or having him for a few months before losing him?" This topic was brought up in our support group, when Dan mentioned how hard it was to know Ty for months, only to lose him. One mother, who's baby died in her arms after 57 minutes, commented, "I'd give anything to have my baby for that long." Just another reminder that life is all about perspective.



The garden is so beautiful and peaceful, as we leisurely walked around. We came to what we called, "The Secret Garden". These cute doors opened up to a smaller, enclosed garden with a fountain. We also had a good laugh. While I was examining one of the doors, Ryan sneaked back to the other side and quickly rapped on it. I don't know why, but it totally scared me! I jumped back and threw my arms around Jamie in fright! Speaking of Jamie, does her pose look familiar?

This is my friend, Jamie Malloy. She first approached me after relief society, 10 days after the funeral. She was emotional as she tried to express the desire and impression she had to "take care of" me. I was touched by her words, but lacked the ability to say anything, so I threw my arms around her and embraced her. We didn't know each other, but we both felt the need to change that. Since then, we walked almost every week for 2-3 hours at a time, talking about everything. Our friendship progressed so quickly. I've never connected with someone outside of my family as fast as I have with Jamie. Ty's death had a profound impact on her in ways that allowed us to lean on one another and grow spiritually. In fact, Jamie was one of a couple friends who constantly sent me uplifting messages through scriptures and quotes, almost on a daily basis, which helped banish the hurtful thoughts. I truly believe she and I were very close friends in the spirit world. I have no doubt we promised to find each other and help one another during these hard times.







I didn't need to walk to remember Ty. I will never forget how he has changed my life and influenced so many others. But I walked to honor him, reflecting on the cherished memories that I cling to.

7 comments:

Brittmae said...

Sweet words Erica - no one will forget Ty, but its cool to have some other external validation of his life, his sweetness. I am glad you and Dan got something positive out of the support group and congrats on the book progress- that is awesome! I have meaning to call you -- we need to get together sometime soon!!

Jamie Malloy said...

Looking at the pictures you took, one would never know it wasnt with an expensive camera! They are beautiful! They look like theyre straight out of a magazine! Thanks so much to you and your family for letting me honor Ty with you. I love him and, if its ok with you, think of him as a little guardian angel. I think about him all the time and I feel like he knows who I am. I hope he's rooting for me to return home too, just like he is for you and Dan.

Brandon and Jamie Smith said...

I'm so glad you found such a great friend! I love Jamie already. And not just for her name. :) I'm so glad that she is there to take care of you. Give her a big hug for me. I can't wait to someday meet her. And what a neat thing that Thanksgiving point does to honor all the little ones who have passed on.

k.young said...

What a sweet way to honor Ty! Thanks for sharing all of this with us!

Karmen said...

That garden is SO pretty! Oh, Erica, I'm go glad you found such a good friend in Jamie! Good friends like that are hard to come by. And what a perfect time to find her!

elias said...

What a beautiful post! The pictures are amazing. Your tribute to Ty is timeless. The way you describe the inspired way you and Jamie met is touching. And it was great you got to be in that beautiful place with so many of your family members to remember Ty. Thanks for posting this so we can share in it with you!

elias said...

P.S. You're totally right about that picture of Jamie. It reminds me a lot of the painting of Christ knocking at the door.

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