I need some ideas, maybe some encouragement. From only months after Ty passed away, I've felt compelled to write this book about Ty's life and how Dan and I have healed. And not that I'm some expert, but we've had significant experiences that have helped us grow spiritually, and that show how leaning on the Lord can lift the burden of pain and grief. One of the most helpful things for me has been talking to other moms who have lost babies so I could find hope in their healing and their ability to still have a family and a life after such a life-altering tragedy.
I suppose that's what I want "Taumafai" (current title of Ty's book) to be about: Sharing my experience from a spiritual stand-point and offering hope. There are lots of books out there about grieving and what to do and not to do... But there are few books about losing a child that include an LDS perspective, at least that I could find.
Originally, I wanted to include blog posts because I think that's the best way for readers to experience the raw nature of these emotions. But Desert and Covenant Communications have both turned the book down, so I'm not sure if it's because of the "journal" aspect, or disinterest in the whole concept, or maybe just how I pitched it to them. It's too bad they don't have time for personal feedback when they say "no thanks". My next attempt will be Shadow Mountain.
Right now, I'm working on re-formatting my book and excluding the blog posts, but maybe just summarizing some of the key experiences into the small chapters I've already written.
Sometimes I get discouraged and wonder, "Why would anyone want to read a narrative about my experience? What makes my story any different than someone else's?"
Dan told me today that it's for the same reason any of us watch an uplifting movie. People connect with stories about adversity and triumph. And I guess knowing so many parents out there are going through this experience makes me want to reach out to them the way other parents who lost babies to SIDS have reached out to me. Writing about the experience will hopefully reach so many more than I could possibly talk to.
So that's my goal, anyway. Help me keep on top of it! I'm not convinced it will be published, even though I truly believe something like this needs to be out there. But I have to try, even though it's really disheartening when all I get are rejections from my Young Adult Fiction. The publishing world is brutally difficult!
If you have any thoughts or ideas, I'd love some feedback. (What would you hope or expect to be included in a my book?) Anyway, it's helped me even just getting my thoughts out in a casual way. Afternoon nap-time will be my writing time!
Now if only Aiyana's teething experience would stop making me feel like I have a newborn at night-time again... Zzzzz..zzz...
Recovering and Surrendering
9 years ago
5 comments:
I've not read the book, so I don't know if you have included this or not, but as I think you should of for sure include how you felt when your were pregnant with Aiyana. Would you be able to love her as much as Ty? Would you forget Ty? I think those are common thoughts anyone would have. I think it is great that you have a desire to get an LDS perspective out there. You can do this!
You can do it Erica! I crave reading your new posts! I think you are a fabulous writer and I love your honesty in all your posts. Your story has changed my life and I haven't even experienced the type of loss you have. Because of what you've wrote, I appreciate my family, husband and babies way more than ever now, and have realized what a blessing it truly is to have them in my life day to day, hour to hour. I wish I had some advice for you. If you really want to reach out to a massive audience, maybe take all the Ty entries from this blog and re-post it on an open blog so anyone can read it. I don't know the beginnings of how you would make people aware of your open blog though.
Erica, I think what Dan said is 100% right; no one is exempt from hardships, but we can draw inspiration, hope and strength from others, even if it's from a different trial altogether. I keep thinking that one of the main goals of this life is to help lift one another's burdens, and the weight of loss and healing would be lighter for having yours and Dan's experiences to draw strength from. I LOVE how you write, you have the ability to draw the reader in, it is one of your many gifts! Press on, you are a voice to many a broken heart. Love you!
You know I would read that book in a heartbeat whenever/if you ever need me to. Don't give up. It will happen. Really great things are always difficult to pursue...that's what makes them great. Keep going. Satan may try to dishearten you, but HF will help you triumph. I do believe you're supposed to share your experience. Many people will be able to heal along with you as they read it someday. Keep going.
Perhaps you could still put in your blog posts, but just tweak them a little. Go through and mark different themes that you see in the posts and then those can be the different chapters of your book. You can still use what you wrote in your blog, just maybe organize it by theme. You can take different paragraphs from different posts and include them in your chapters. I don't know if that's what you're looking for but it's an idea. :) Good luck!
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