We had such a great family day on Saturday celebrating Aaron's second birthday. I did sense the mildest of cramping during the day, and then it became more noticeable in the evening. Dan and I decided to enjoy what we assumed would be one last date night and went to a late dinner at Red Lobster. The meal was delicious, and also in celebration of Dan's perfectly positive yearly review at work! (He's doing so awesome, but more on that later.) After the fact, I realized seafood was probably not the best choice in case I went into labor, but... I still had it decided in my head that this baby was coming Monday. =)
Onto the birth story!
By 11 PM, I was cramping more and started timing my contractions. The contractions didn't hurt at all, but they were coming 7-10 minutes apart. I really just wanted to go to sleep, but also was afraid I wouldn't pay attention to my body and would get to the hospital too late again, like with Aaron. But after an hour, I finally decided it was safe enough to fall asleep.
I woke up at 2:40 AM feeling the cramping aching a little painfully, but contractions were touch and go. Emily Rock happened to be up with a teething one-year-old Ava so she text me to check in, and briefly gave me a "friendly reminder" that I better get checked out at the hospital sooner than later. I agreed, but I was hesitant because it was in the middle of the night, and what a hassle to wake up Sandra to get her to come over, and wake up my mom... in case all of this was too soon. But I timed contractions again, and realized the aching period type cramps were getting more sharp and in time with the contractions. It suddenly dawned on me that these were indeed labor pains, and while I probably had a couple of hours, I felt panicky about missing my window of establishing a peaceful environment at the hospital. I did not want another out of control experience like with Ty and Aaron!
I woke up Dan at 3:30 AM. Poor guy had stayed up until 2 AM cramming in his time entries for his billable hours and had probably only been asleep for maybe an hour. But he jumped right out of bed and we both showered real quick, packed our last minute items, called our moms, and drove to the hospital. We arrived at 4 AM and I suddenly had that feeling of being in the runner's blocks, preparing to jump into my race! I felt nervous, sort of dreading the experience more than looking forward to it, and knew I needed to change my mindset.
Up to this point, contractions had been coming regularly at 5-7 minutes apart, but as soon as I laid down in the hospital triage room, they seemed to subside. The nurse seemed a little skeptical about me being there but she checked me and found me at 2.5 CM dilated. Better than nothing, but if no progress was made in the hour, I'd likely be sent home. I said a prayer for progress, and by 5:30 AM, I was 3.5 CM so they checked me in! Hooray! and... "man, this is really happening! *gulp."
I loved having plenty of time to get changed, chat with the nurses about my natural birth desires, turn on my nature music (Pandora Radio station), and dim the lights. The atmosphere was very light and fun in my room -- actually a little too boisterous at first! Our original nurse was from Boston and very loud and a bit of a comedian. I really liked her, although I knew her personality would not be very conducive to a peaceful hypnobirth experience! I was moving through the contractions just fine, walking a couple of laps and using the birthing ball to lean onto the bed... Dan and my mom worked well together to apply counter pressure, and Dan established a beautiful metaphor about being a pine tree (like the ones we visited in Pine Crest from his hometown, which became the setting for my first book, Lingering Echoes!). He created the visual imagery in my mind of tall pines, whose branches and needles allowed the wind to blow through them, unable to knock down the strongly rooted tree, but simply moving through and swaying the branches. Every time I had contractions, he would refer to the wind blowing past, describing the "wind" in a non-threatening manner. I was so impressed! I also had to keep telling my mom and Dan to pace themselves. They were working so hard, constantly massaging me.
By 7 AM, my Boston nurse's shift was over, and I appreciated the very calm, quiet nurses who took her place. By this time, the nurse discovered I was already dilated to 7 CM and 90% effaced! These stats brought a nervous smile to my face, but brought me comfort to know progress was being made and I'd get to meet Logan soon!
By now, we were all working well together in our hypnobirth groove. I moved to the bed to lie on my side, feeling the contractions getting sharper. However, I just took it one contraction at a time, realizing that if I just tackled one at a time, it was only for a minute and not that bad if I kept breathing deeply and listening to Dan's soothing voice. I barely had to indicate counter pressure at this point because my mom was watching the machine and could see when I was having a contraction. She usually didn' t point it out, but would simply lean into my lower back or butt and it helped immensely! Dan focused on guiding me through visual imagery for the remainder of labor, holding onto me and touching my face.
By the time I was at 9 CM, Dan said something that brought a lot of emotion into the room. I think I was having a particularly strong contraction, and he emphasized that I'd felt this "wind" before, and the image that came to mind was Ty's birth, as well as Aiya's and Aaron's, but it was the thought of Ty and how special that first experience of birth and motherhood is that brought me to tears. I clutched the framed photo of Ty in my left hand, holding it close and wondering if he could be in the room with us right then, sending off his little brother. Dan sniffled teary-eyed as well, and after a couple of minutes, I was able to turn the mix of tender and sad emotion back into a peaceful one.
Angela DeTie, my midwife, had arrived at this point, which I was so grateful because I heard she wasn't on call. I thought when we first came to the hospital, "She's going to miss the birth again!" But was so touched when she opted to come in, rather than leave my birth up to the on-call midwife. She and the nurses were very hands off and barely in the room. It wasn't until Dan hit the button to alert the nurse that they came to check on me and see that I was ready to push. I'd started to do the lower grunting sounds a little bit, which clued Dan in on my progress.
Still, the contractions weren't crushing me and on top of one another like I'd experienced in the past. They'd pass in a minute and while they became more intense and I'd arch a little bit with the sharp pain, I was really in the zone with all the hypnobirth tactics. Angela offered to break my water and I agreed to the painless procedure. But then as soon as the water broke, things became uncomfortable really quick and I felt Logan slipping down, and that rectal pressure and urge to push.
Not. Fun.
The burning feeling was more intense than I ever remembered and in my head, I was very aware of the pain and the burning sensation, and I just wanted it to be done, done, done, thinking, "Ok, why isn't he out yet?" All my other kids seemed to slip out a lot faster. I tried to push a little, but they said not to push too hard, and complimented how controlled he was easing out of me. My thighs trembled and felt like they were starting to cramp and burn as well. That's when I locked eyes on Dan, as I have with every baby towards the end of the process, and he was so positive and encouraging, not leaving my eyes for a second. He just kept talking to me with tears in his eyes about baby Logan wanting to meet me, and how he was almost there.
Oh, it burned and I just wanted him out! But I kept complete composure, (so much in fact that one of the nurses said later that she assumed I was drugged up with an epidural) and I just stared at Dan, trusting him that it would be over soon. After a few minutes, finally Logan made his full entrance into this world and the relief was magnificent! They brought him to my chest and he offered a strong cry, and I just wanted to comfort him and help him not be sad or scared or whatever he was feeling. I noticed his long dark hair, and his browner skin, and the more prominent asian genes. And I just loved feeling him lay on my chest, so much a part of me but no longer a large bump in my abdomen!
Overall, this was the most peaceful, calm laboring I've ever done yet! And while I say yet, that is not a guarantee that I'm doing this again. It's way too soon to be thinking about that, even though my mom seems to think that's the case! She was so great and so complimentary, as were all the nurses and Angela. She commented she wished we could be birth coaches because she was so amazed by the unity between us, and another nurse commented that it was too bad not all partners could be that supportive during labor. I truly am very lucky for Dan's strength and intuitive support. Poor guy had been up for over 24 hours (aside from his one hour cat nap before we drove to the hospital), but he hardly let on how tired and ill he felt. So amazing, both he and my mom. I count myself very lucky!
So now we're just excited to get to know this tired, snuggly little guy of ours. I can't wait for Aiyana and Aaron to meet him!
Logan Edward Kiefer
March 1, 8:20 AM
7 lbs 11 oz, 20 inches long
My biggest baby by 11 oz. No wonder the burning was more intense!
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