Role-Change

The Relief Society lesson today was on how to teach our youth. We discussed leading by example, validating their feelings, spending time with them, etc. There was a good spirit in the room as we discussed the importance of parenthood. It wasn't until the closing hymn that I became emotional. As we sang, "Teach Me to Walk in the Light", my voice caught in my throat. The woman beside me handed me a tissue to catch my tears as I pondered the second verse,

"Come, little child, and together we'll learn
Of His commandments, that we may return
Home to his presence, to live in His sight--
Always, always to walk in the light.

I was reminded of how the roles have changed. Dan and I are no longer the parents leading the way--rather we are the parents being lead by the hand of our son. But with Ty beside us, "together we'll learn" so we can continue to be a family in the Eternities.

It is true: Being pregnant does not make me miss Ty any less. I still think about him every day just as much, if not more. But I have felt myself able to distinguish my new pregnancy from my grief with Ty, which is important. I am able to emotionally hold Ty in a different place than I used to. Even though I miss Ty, I am genuinely happy I am pregnant, and I know that's ok. I know this baby is different from Ty, and while I'm sure comparisons will be made, that seems normal for any parent.

I love you Ty-baby! and baby #2, I can't wait to feel you inside me.