Aiyana at 20-Months-Old

Oh this girl. My sweet 'n spicy 20-month-old. Or probably more accurate: Heavy on the spicy with a touch of sweet, depending on the time of day!

 

Dr. Jekyll

 

Mr. Hyde

I really love Aiya. She makes me laugh (and sometimes growl) all throughout the day! I was going to say I can't imagine life without her, but the scary truth is, I can. And that terrifies me beyond anything else, giving me patience on days when I struggle with her.

Aiyana has never been as happy as when she napped twice a day. Although, while I'd like to blame her often grouchy behavior on sleep-deprivation, we all know she's had this sass in her since she was 3 months old! Becoming tired just amplifies her somewhat aggressive personality. It doesn't matter whether she's happy, sad, or frustrated -- this little toddler is LOUD. She likes to scream and screech when she plays and, since turning 19-months, is really mastering her tantrums.

19-months was a real mile-stone for her and game-changer for us as parents! We took away her "baba" (morning and post-dinner bottle) and binky, though about three weeks apart. The elimination of her baba started after Thanksgiving. I stopped offering it to her, though she obsessively demanded it first thing in the morning, crying with impatience when she had to wait 35 seconds to heat it. Then I just offered distraction instead of her bottle, and she'd ask for it and be sad, but get over it. So that was that and no real repercussions.

I was so nervous to take her away from her binky! And let's be honest -- I was probably as attached to it as she was. I loved seeing her comfort herself and happily go to sleep for naps and bedtime because she knew it was precious binky time. My plan was to tell Aiyana it was "broken" and maybe cut the ends off and have her grow disinterested in it. But instead, one day I just didn't give it to her. She looked around for it, scouring the blankets and asked for her "bee". But I acted like it was no big deal and left the room. Then I watched in agony, observing Aiyana on the monitor distraught and crying as she dug around her mattress. Broke my heart! I had to turn the sound off. But her cries only lasted 5 minutes off and on and she went to sleep! I was so surprised and grateful! Apparently, she has decent self-soothing habits because it was way easier than I anticipated.

Since then, she has continued to cry at nap time and bedtime, but only for a few seconds to a minute tops. It just has made me sad that she doesn't nap as happily and easily anymore. And then for a while following Operation Binky Removal, she would wake from her naps after an hour, cry and then fall asleep again for another 30 minutes and that was it. My days of binkies and 2-3 hours naps were over!

However, as of this week, I took a friend's advice and now read Aiyana a book before nap and bedtime, and then put that book in the crib with her. She likes to look at the book before falling asleep a few minutes later, and then when she wakes, is content to flip through it again and hang out in her crib. It's been amazing! Her naps are still only 1.5, or 2 if I'm lucky. But that's still pretty good, and she's been happier going to bed and waking up. (Took a couple weeks of recovery from Christmas vacation sleep-deprivation!)

 Her hair is growing and I love playing with it! I still can't do much more than pig-tails, but Pawn showed me how to do this little front twist.

 Aiyana loves to color ("kah"), whether with Color Wonder markers, pen and paper, (love how she's holding one fist with the other hand for control!) and especially in the tub with her bath crayons -- a stocking gift that I don't think I'll be replacing regularly. They're a mess but she has fun with them.

I am reading a book on my Kindle called, "Scream-Free Parenting" that I heard about. I'm not a screamer most of the time, though I definitely am giving into bad, emotional reaction when she doesn't do what I want. (I'm hoping my growing lack of patience is a pregnancy thing but I think it's likely a "having a toddler" thing!) This book is all about the parent focusing on self-control and not reacting to behavior, especially by yelling or intimidation or blaming the child for "pushing my buttons". It puts the responsibility back on the parent to be the adult and not act childish or overly-controlling. I like the idea behind the book a lot. . . now I just need to keep reading to get to the "how to" part of it!

Despite my complaints over her strong-willed, impatient personality, she really behaves well for me most of the time when it's just the two of us at home. She understands SO much and will generally listen to my directions (like "go find your socks", "pick out your shoes, and can you grab Mommy's, too?", "put your clothes in the basket" etc".) She always reminds us to pray at every meal, too, and she speaks a ton. I am becoming very attune to her special lingo. Some favorite word interpretation:

"Gocks" = socks
"Wing!" = swing
"Duce" = juice
"Wa-wa" = water
"Ammo" = Elmo (She LOVES watching Elmo and saying his name, and having special Daddy-daughter dates to watch it on the lap-top)
"Ga-ga" = cracker
"theh-theh" = thank you
"Ah go?" = Where did it go?
"wone" = phone

She speaks another 20+ words or so pretty accurately. It's so fun to communicate with her!

Aiyana is also a huge teaser. For the most part, she is a happy kid and girls love babysitting her because she's easy. For me, I wish I didn't have to worry about discipline because half the time, I just want to laugh when she's purposely testing boundaries or doing something she knows she's not suppose to -- and she's standing just out of my reach, ready to pivot and take off. She gets this LOOK on her face, eyes wide and playful with a full grin that just cracks me up. Pausing, she waits for the right moment when I lunge for her (after she refuses to "come here"). Lately, she beats me. She is so dang fast! and I am now awkwardly slow, which, when I'm not in the mood to laugh, ends up with me yelling because I'm so frustrated that I can't keep up anymore!

What I DO appreciate about Aiyana is that she doesn't get into everything. She can open all the doors but usually, if the bedroom or bathroom doors are shut, she won't go in. When I'm showering or exercising, I can trust that she's either watching a show or playing with toys rather than messing with items she shouldn't, so that's helpful! What I have learned most about her and about being a mom is that if I am playing with her and spending time doing things she enjoys, I don't have many problems with her. It's only when I get controlling about MY agenda when we run into issues. Such is the balancing act in motherhood!